4 Narcissistic Relationship Patterns

Try to recognize it

When you enter into a relationship with someone narcissistic, it can be confusing and challenging. Whether the person is a friend, significant other, family member, or colleague — dating a narcissist is never easy. Whether or not you recognize the manipulative patterns in your relationship sooner rather than later, you may still find yourself falling under their influence and manipulation. These are the 4 common narcissistic partner patterns you should recognize.

Constant Contact and Miscalculation

Narcissists will contact their partners incessantly and at all day hours, demanding their presence and attention. They will also contact their partner at inappropriate times, often trying to create an emotional response they can feed off. A narcissist will typically demand their partner’s attention, even when they are not in a relationship with that individual. 

If a friend is not responding to a narcissist’s constant requests for attention and presence, they may create drama or threaten to try and get what they want from their friend. A narcissist will also try to control their partner’s whereabouts, both in their social media and in their private lives. This can be especially harmful if the narcissist is in a position of power over their partner, such as in an employer-employee relationship. A narcissistic boss may also try to control their partner outside of work, creating an unhealthy environment for all parties involved.

Covert Abuse & Shaming

A narcissist will most likely subtly criticize and put down their partner. They will also try to isolate their partner from their friends and family to maintain control over the relationship. A narcissist will also try to make their partner feel guilty, or, alternately, shame them. They may shame you for your interests or hobbies, or try to make you feel bad about your financial situation. A narcissist may also try to make you feel like you are to blame for the problems in the relationship. They may blame you for their abusive behavior, or try to make you feel as if you are the one who needs to change for the relationship to work. 

Chronic Lying

A narcissist will lie about even the most mundane and insignificant things. They may lie about their lives before meeting you, their educational or work history, or their current and past relationships. A narcissist will likely also lie about who they are as a person. This person attempts to make themselves seem more attractive and desirable to you by lying about their interests, hobbies, and desires. Narcissists may lie about their feelings for you, and even abuse you. They may also lie about their abusive behavior, either claiming that they didn’t hurt you, or that they don’t know why they did it.


A narcissist may try to convince you that you are delusional, or that you don’t know yourself as well as you think. They may try to manipulate you into believing false things about yourself to help them maintain control over you.  A narcissist may try to convince you that your relationship is normal, even when it is abusive. They may also try to make you believe you are not intelligent, talented, or attractive enough for someone else to be interested in you. 

If you recognize any of these narcissistic relationship patterns in your own relationship, it is important to remember that you can get out of the relationship. Narcissistic relationships are unhealthy, and you do not have to remain in one. You can learn to recognize the narcissist’s manipulative patterns and use them against them. With some help, you can break the cycle of abuse and find the support you need to heal. 

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