Toxic moms
Signs You’re Being Over Parented and What You Can Do About It
We all have a mother, and most try our best to be kind, loving people. But even in the happiest of families, things can get complicated. If you’re reading this article, your relationship with your mother has likely become challenging. Perhaps she’s overbearing or controlling; maybe she doesn’t understand you as an adult, or it could be something else entirely. Whatever the case, toxic relationships are unhealthy and must not be ignored. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to dealing with a toxic mother. Everyone responds differently to challenging relationships in their life. These tips will help you identify if your mother is toxic and what steps to take from there so that you can begin to heal and move forward with your life.
Identifying a toxic mother-child relationship
The first step in dealing with a toxic mother is to recognize that she is unhealthy. Toxic mothers have certain commonalities that can indicate whether or not she is toxic. If your mother constantly puts you down, criticizes you, or makes you feel guilty, she’s likely toxic. Sometimes she cannot treat you like an adult and engage with you as an independent person, she’s toxic. If she doesn’t respect your boundaries and cannot see your point of view, she’s likely toxic. Toxic mothers aren’t bad people. They’re just people who have yet to confront their issues and don’t know how to treat others with love and respect.
Confide in trusted friends and family
When dealing with a toxic mother, it can be easy to internalize your feelings, deciding that you must be the one who’s at fault. You may feel ashamed or guilty for being unable to get along with your mother or for not loving her as you think you “should.” However, it’s important to remember that a toxic relationship isn’t your fault. You aren’t responsible for your mother’s behavior and aren’t obligated to treat her the way she treats you. When you feel over your head with your mother, talking to someone is essential. Whether it’s a therapist, a close friend, or someone else, it’s critical to talk to someone outside of your situation to get a fresh perspective on your relationship with your mother.
Try to understand why your mother is behaving this way
As hurtful as it can be to be treated poorly by your mother, it’s important to remember that she isn’t doing this to be malicious. She may not see past her issues and perceive you as the loving, compassionate adult you are. It’s also important to remember that her adverse treatment of you isn’t what you deserve. You deserve to be treated with love, compassion, and respect. Try to understand why your mother behaves this way as much as you can. It may help you gain some insight into your relationship with her and give you the perspective you need to move forward with your life.
Set healthy boundaries
Boundaries are essential in every relationship, but they’re significant in relationships with toxic mothers. You may have tried to set boundaries with your mother in the past without success. Or, you may have been so caught up in trying to please her that you didn’t set any boundaries. Either way, it’s important to try again. The best way to set boundaries with a toxic mother is, to be honest with her. Let her know how she’s making you feel and that you don’t appreciate her treatment of you. You may also want to consider seeing a therapist who can help you figure out the best way to set boundaries with your mother and take steps toward detaching from her toxic behavior.
Take care of yourself
Above all else, remember to take care of yourself. You may not be able to control your mother’s behavior, but you can control how you react to it. Make sure you’re getting the support and treatment you need, whether it’s through therapy, self-help books, or support groups. You may also want to consider journaling or keeping a gratitude journal to help you stay mindful of all the things you have to be thankful for in your life. Relationships are supposed to be about love, compassion, and support for one another, but when one person is toxic, the relationship becomes unhealthy, hurtful, and unbalanced. Remember that you deserve a healthy relationship. If you aren’t receiving that from your mother, it’s okay to let go and move on with your life.
Toxic relationships can be damaging and hard to escape, but it isn’t impossible. By setting healthy boundaries and taking care of yourself, you can let go of any toxicity in your life. You deserve only love and respect, and if someone isn’t treating you that way, you don’t have to stay in that relationship, and you don’t have to let them control you. You can find better and healthier relationships with people who appreciate and adore you precisely as you are.
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