Gas+Light = Manipulation
How do you know that you are dealing with a gaslighting? And what to do to protect yourself from his manipulations?
What is gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the manipulator denies the facts that have occurred in an attempt to make the victim doubt his or her own memories and alter his or her perception of reality.
The gaslighter systematically devalues the other person’s words, experiences, actions, and successes. Eventually his victim begins to feel helpless and insecure. The person increasingly thinks about his or her emotional stability and adequacy, while the gaslighter gains almost complete control in the relationship. Such manipulation tactics are common everywhere – in couples, in the family, at work, and among friends. At the same time gaslighting can be intentional or not.
The term began to be used in the middle of the XX century. It owes its appearance to the film “Gaslight” by George Cukor in 1944. According to the plot, an insidious spouse manipulates the mind of a young wife, forcing her to consider herself mentally ill.
First, he convinces his beloved of her lack of talent for singing, convinces her to abandon her career and return to her hometown. And then he begins to set up strange occurrences, convincing the girl that nothing unusual is going on around her. As it turns out, the hero does all this in order to seize the inheritance of his wife.
Typical gaslighting phrases:
“I did not say that”
“You’re confused about something,”
“It’s just a joke,”
“You’re too sensitive.