How to Identify an Abuser
7 Ways to Spot an Abusive Relationship
Have you ever been in a relationship that wasn’t quite right? Maybe your partner seemed to control you without trying, or maybe they criticized you for things other people wouldn’t even notice. If any of these sound like something that has happened to you, it’s very possible that the person you’re dating is an abuser. Here are some tips to identify toxic relationships.
They Say “You’re Too Sensitive”
Again, this is the abuser trying to undermine your feelings and completely dismiss them. If the person you are dating is accusing you of being too sensitive, then they care very little about your feelings and can be very dismissive of them.
They Constantly Put You Down, And You Feel Worthless
If you find yourself in a relationship where you constantly feel like you are failing at everything, then you’re in an abusive relationship. Abusers are very good at making you feel like you are stupid for your accomplishments, but also for your failures. They will criticize you for almost anything, and try to make you feel like you’re lucky to have them or to be in their presence.
You Feel Trapped In The Relationship
If you find yourself unable to leave a relationship, or if you are constantly deliberating about leaving the relationship, then it may be because you are in an abusive relationship. Abusers are very good at making you feel trapped in the relationship, and making you feel like you can’t leave them. They will also make you feel like you deserve the abuse, and that you are lucky that you have them even though they treat you poorly.
They Make You Believe That You’re The Problem
This is one of the most common signs of an abuser. They will make you feel like it is your fault that they are treating you badly. Regardless of what you do or don’t do, an abuser can find a way to make you feel like it’s your fault. They are very good at shifting the blame off of themselves and onto you, even for things that really aren’t your fault.
They Are Control Freaks, Or Maybe Just Can’t Stop Controlling
Abusers are very controlling people, and they want to be in control of your life, your schedule, your activities, and your decisions. They may be overly critical of your choices, and they will always want to know what you are doing and who you are with. Another sign that your partner may be a controlling person is if they constantly read your text messages, emails, and social media accounts without your consent.
Their Abuse Is Psychological, Not Just Physical
Abuse isn’t only physical, though it may begin that way. An abuser will use many tactics to manipulate you and to try to control you. They may be very emotionally manipulative, and they may try to make you feel guilty or shame you into doing what they want. Abusers are very quick to spread lies, rumors, and gossip about you because they want people to dislike you, and they want you to feel like a loser.
They’re Incapable Of Empathy Or Remorse
If your partner has ever done anything that they should be sorry for, and they don’t apologize to you, then they probably never will. Abusers rarely feel bad for the things that they do, and they will never apologize for them. They will try to make you feel bad for bringing up the issue, and if you try to get them to apologize, they will probably blame the situation on you somehow.
If you’ve read through this list and you think that you might be in an abusive relationship, then you need to leave that relationship. Abuse isn’t something that will just go away, and it only gets worse the longer you stay in that relationship. The best way is to leave the relationship and find some support so you can heal from the abuse that you’ve been through.
The author of this article is a therapist from the Sensera app. Sensera is a daily 10-minute self-therapy app. It’ll help you to cope with various mental problems (anxiety, self-esteem, relationship issues). Feel better with CBT audio sessions and exercises. Download now to become happier!
