Recognizing an Abusive Relationship: 4 Signs You Need to Get Out
If you’re in an abusive relationship, you might think you know what it looks like but don’t be so sure. A more insidious type of relationship is one in which the person being abused has no way to break free. This type of control thrives when one partner has little access to the outside world.
- An abusive relationship is about the control
- You’re always walking on eggshells
- You’re constantly feeling guilty
- Your partner has violence in their past
- Conclusion: you don’t have any way out and that terrifies you.
An abusive relationship is about the control
If you feel like your partner is trying to control you, they almost certainly are. You might be in a controlling relationship if your partner:
– Regularly checks up on where you’re going, who you’re seeing, or what you’re doing.
– Threatens to end the relationship if you don’t do what they want.
– Limits your access to money or withholds financial support.
– Makes you feel guilty for pursuing a career path, having friends, or doing things without them.
You’re always walking on eggshells
In an abusive relationship, you walk on eggshells. This means you constantly walk a tightrope, trying to avoid your partner’s wrath by always being careful about everything. You might be in an abusive relationship if you:
– Avoid certain topics or feelings because they might upset your partner.
– Regularly apologize for things that aren’t your fault.
– Are afraid to disagree with your partner.
– Try to smooth over problems in the relationship.
You’re constantly feeling guilty
People in abusive relationships often feel like they need to apologize for everything — even if they aren’t in the wrong. If you’re in a relationship in which you constantly feel guilty, that’s a red flag. You might be in an abusive relationship if you feel bad when:
– you need to take time for yourself.
– you go out with friends without your partner.
– you have a different opinion than your partner.
– you want to change something about your life like a job or major.
Your partner has violence in their past
If your partner has a history of violent behavior, they might be abusive. You might be in an abusive relationship if your partner:
– Has been arrested for assault or has a restraining order against them.
– Has been in therapy or on medication for violent behavior in the past.
– Regularly uses language that suggests they are capable of violence.
Conclusion: you don’t have any way out and that terrifies you.
If any of these signs sound familiar, you might be in an abusive relationship. Regardless of the type of abuse, you’re experiencing, there’s help available. You don’t have to face this alone. Don’t let one more day go by where you’re living in fear. You deserve to live a life free of abuse, to be treated with respect and kindness. You deserve a partner who trusts you and supports you in everything you do.
This article is written by a therapist from Sensera – a self-help app that provides daily CBT audio sessions and exercises. The app helps people deal with a variety of mental issues (anxiety, low self-esteem, relationship problems). Download Sensera now to become happier!